Classical Convert

Mistery Noises

If fate had worked itself all wrongly, and had made me into one who makes music (I thought) then I would definitely, definitely write a piece for foghorn. Foghorns are sexy. And intimidating. They are the roars of our largest artificial animals. Here is a fun foghorn fact: it is impossible to find a video on youtube of one which does not involve one of (a) wind static, (b) ADD cameramen, (c) some dude who attached one to the roof of his ScionxB. Well, there might be a few others:

I can see from your eyes that you have a great desire to learn more about foghorns. Let me share with you a few secrets unraveled in the Great Internet Foghorn Adventure of the last half hour. It turns out that the “classic” foghorns — diaphones — are an endangered species. They are all getting replaced by electronic diaphragm style ones. This is sad as the diaphone has a rich and exuberant (well, maybe not exuberant) history. Check it out:

Air comes in from the left, and that piston in the middle is cut away on its left side: that’s why it looks weird, it’s actually symmetric and shaped like a top-hat. It starts with the piston in the top position. Air pushes the rim of the top-hat down, until this exposes the channels which let the air escape up through the hollow center of the piston and out of the top of the cone. In the process the piston is forced back up again, causing it to vibrate up and down.

This is kind of like a half flute/half reed type mechanism for producing a noise. There is a column of vibrating air (like a flute) but instead of this being due to purely the dimensions of the device, it is due to being actively oscillated by a mechanical, err, thingy (like a reed). This mechanism originally came from a (rarely used) stop on an organ, invented by the same guy who created the Wurlitzer. I think it’s really cool that there is a little piston in there. It’s like a half instrument/half machine.

Still not convinced that foghorns are sexy? Perhaps this will change your mind:

I’ve GOT to get me one of these bad boys.

They are available from the store at gamewelldiaphone.com, if you are interested. This is also the site where I found that awesome animation up there. For further foghorn-based entertainment (and I know you know that’s the best type) check out the wikipedia entry on diaphones.

Tags: diaphone, foghorn, thong

Break Out the MSDS Sheets

Early this ante-m., the covers (duvet actually, imported all the way from Debenhams in England which took up most of the space in my luggage but was highly, exceptionally, worth it) came off to the incessant looping of Toxic. The Britney song. This wasn’t an outside, uninvited intrusion due to radio-alarm randomness, but instead an internal performance which I blame on too many ukulele videos before bed:

I remember having a ukulele as a kid, and also remember my musical skills mostly encompassing breaking the strings. It turns out that there is a huge (not so) seedy underworld community of ukulele devotees with mad ukulele skills. For example, I managed to miss the rise to popularity of this performance (which occurred thousands of years ago in internet time):

Hell, there are even multiple ukulele “orchestras” in existence. Here’s the GB one covering Kate Bush — which actually makes me just want to turn it off and listen to the original, but the “Heathcliff!” is kind of funny:

It almost makes me want to pay for and try playing the ukulele.

Almost.

Tags: music, ukulele, youtube

Playing the Building

David Byrne put together this installation in which the keys of an organ have been wired to various contraptions which vibrate or whack various parts of the surrounding architecture. This allows budding, masonry-inclined organists to literally — you guessed it — play the building. BoingBoingTV has done a nice little feature in which they discuss the installation with the man himself:

We’ve had this recommended to us a bunch of times now, but haven’t made it there yet. Perhaps this weekend when I’m down in the city visiting g we’ll pop our heads in.

Tags: david byrne, playing the building