Things Not to Do In My Garden Next Year
Things learned as another season of stump farming draws to a close:
- I will try to avoid squeezing fifty-thousand tomato plants into three inches of dirt – it makes it frickin impossible, and uncomfortable, to extract any fruit from within the clutches of all those stems. They need about a two foot radius each.
- No more cantaloupe. Cantaloupes DO NOT work well in this climate. The space required/taste acquired ratio is far too high. Although… it is kind of awesome that they actually grew. Now I can be proud of attaining the life accomplishment: Has Grown Melons.
- Don’t be stingy with the beans. Next year I will use all the cantaloupe space to erect the most enormous bean teepee the gardening world has ever laid it’s green-fingered eyes on. Beans are promiscuous little holy grails. They are easy, delicious, and you can make a bloody teepee out of them. One cannot argue with a teepee.
- Don’t bother planting tonnes of chilis. This year I stuck a Jalapeno and Habanero plant on my pseudo-balcony and they have been way more than adequate. Acres of chilis in the real garden are totally unnecessary, they just end up unused and rotting.
- Don’t put off weeding and turning soil over until the spring. Spring Ben hated previous-Autumn Ben this year for being a lazy so-and-so and letting everything overgrow.
- Do grow… no wait, this list is supposed to be all negatives. Don’t, errr, not grow dyers indigo.